“If you had to eat a Disney character, which one would you eat and why?”

If I’m eating and I need to be sure I’ll enjoy it, Bambi is definitely being eaten. Despite never having had it, I’m confident that there is no more delicious and savory selection than Disney venison.

If I have some room to experiment and I can risk having a meal I don’t fully enjoy, my selection falls between Baloo, Dumbo, and young Simba. I had to include Simba as an option just because the babies are where the tenderest meat is found and lion is just such a tempting exotic meal choice. Baloo was one of my first instincts, as I have sincerely wondered since coming back from being a vegetarian what bear tastes like. However, I have also wondered what elephant tastes like and I can’t for the life of me remember Baloo ever being a baby. The best meal choice has to be Dumbo.

If I have even more room to experiment and all I need to do is taste the character I choose, I cannot pass up Belle’s beau the Beast. What is he? Man? That was certainly his original form, but his enchanted form looks more like a freakish and terrifying fusion between a bison and a tiger, so of course I have to know what that tastes like.

Time must also be made so I can mention snake-Jafar, because sorceled serpent sounds scrumptious.

With care,

~ Grigori

“Where is your brontosaurus?”

I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer this question thoroughly and completely as I have many others, as I’ve lost track of my brontosaurus. It’s a shame, really, as I last saw him many millions of years ago. Time seems to speed up with age and it feels as though I last saw him only yesterday. The unfortunate truth is that I barely remember his face and that sincerely breaks my heart. He’s got no descendants by whom I might fondly be helped in remembering him, so his memory is mine and mine alone to preserve.

His name was Jack. You all would have loved him.

With care,

~ Grigori