We—collectively, as a society—can either accept the presence of giraffes and continue to live in relative peace or we can entertain the Question Regarding Giraffes and invoke the terrible and barely-fathomable power of Quetzalcoatl. How a Mesoamerican deity got involved with an African demon, I would need to do more research to say with any amount of confidence. All I know, all I can say about that matter without earning Quetzalcoatl’s fatal attraction, is that giraffes must be here without question and they must be given the reverence Quetzalcoatl deserves. He is a terrible and wrathful god, but he must not be seen as malevolent! He is just uniquely powerful, as are his African cohorts, though they remain magnificent creations and have not yet unleashed on us their white-hot demonic rage.
Yes, I did say “African demons” earlier and I meant it! Have you seen giraffes fight? It’s a rough and brutal battle and all we think is involved is their necks. Well, I have it on good authority that Quetzalcoatl was in the middle of creating a giraffe and got distracted and that’s how one George Fisher was born. That man grew up to be known as “Corpsegrinder” and fronts the world’s most famous death metal band, Cannibal Corpse. Here he is trying to distract us all from discovering his true origins. If a man whose original destiny was to become an African demon sounds like that, what in blue Hell can they sound like in their own language?!
Further, I’d like briefly to address a different possible understanding of the question. What if giraffes didn’t exist simply? What if their existence were more complex in ways we didn’t comprehend? Perhaps they’d have a weakness they don’t have now. Were that the case and we discovered the weakness, perhaps they’d be easier to eradicate. Is that the course of action we should take, though? Sure, if the end we’re after is the eradication of our own species. I’m all for being beholden to no one, but Quetzalcoatl certainly doesn’t involve himself in our lives, does he? Were some creature to go out of their way to slaughter your offspring, what would happen to it? The wrath of a human pales in every way next to the wrath of a deity. If giraffes were more complex in ways that made them stronger? Forget about it! We’d never have time enough even to ask the question, we’d be wiped out so fast!
With care,
~ Grigori
P.S. It is commonly understood that A.D. stands for Anno Domini, or “In the Year of our Lord.” That is clever disinformation. A.D. stands for African Demon. Every year, no matter how many giraffes were killed or were born, the number of African demons resets to the original: the amount reflected in the year. Yes! The original amount of African demons changes with each passing year. As I said, Quetzalcoatl is a uniquely powerful deity.